![]() Have you ever gone a really really long time without hooking up with anyone? The longer you go, the more you question yourself.Īm I attractive? Do women really like me? Men have a tendency to be validated through sex, and women tend toward validation through relationships. The guy meets the girl and he takes an interest in her. Women–just like men–like the attention. She probably hasn’t made a logical decision to keep this guy around this way, it just develops. Why do women do this? And more importantly, how you can you prevent this dead-end time-wasting scenario?Ī woman keeps an orbiter around because it gives her some much-needed validation. He’s trapped, like a rat in a maze, endlessly thinking there’s cheese just around the next corner. In actuality, it’s a dead end that never ends. There’s always some excuse as to why she can’t hook up. She keeps interacting with him and keeps hope alive for him. Or her place is too messy and his is too far away. Or she doesn’t know him well enough. She doesn’t want to move too fast. He keeps hanging out with her, keeps initiating dates and liaisons, thinking that maybe this will be the time that things actually happen.īut there always seems to be something in the way. These “friends†want more from the girl than just friendship, and usually the girl knows it. But the girl doesn’t let things go any further. They surround themselves with guy “friends.†And she spent a lot of time talking to other guys at the bar,” he says.Īn “orbiter†is a guy that a girl keeps around, keeps seeing or talking to in some way, but nothing much sexually ever happens.Ī lot of really attractive girls do this. “The third time we went out, we met up with friends. Every time I try to get sexual with her, it never seems to be the right time.” “Now, after a few dates,” he continues, “she won’t let things go any further sexually. But we didn’t go past hand-holding.” “We were out till 3 AM on our first date having drinks. “We went out on a few dates,†my student tells me. Over e-mail, text message and even long distance, they exist, but long for the sweet mercy of closure.ĭoomed to revolve around her but never get close enough to thrive sexually, they are walking dead of relationships: the dreaded orbiter. Out over the plains of parks and malls you can hear their sexually frustrated groans. In the dark of night in clubs you’ll find them with a look of anticipation in their eyes. ![]()
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